slate
by AlunaGray
Summary: Hatake Kakashi becomes Hibari Kyoya's older sister. The world breaks and the original future goes down the drain. A Naruto and Katekyo Hitman Reborn crossover story. AU. Drabbles. Short chapters. [On Hiatus]
1. i

**Summary:** Hatake Kakashi becomes Hibari Kyoya's older sister. The world breaks and the original future goes down the drain. A Naruto and Katekyo Hitman Reborn crossover story. AU. Drabbles. Short chapters.

**Disclaimer:** Naruto and Katekyo Hitman Reborn are not mine.

**Note:** Tsuna's characterization's based on my own perspective. He's a tad...saucier in this one. Cough.

* * *

**PART i: **Tsuna's internal diary that he kept from the world - Hibari Kei special.

* * *

**1.**

Sawada Tsunayoshi could distinctly remember the first time he met Hibari Kei.

It was etched into his mind, straight into his bones, blood, _soul_-

(And no, it wasn't because Kei was pretty.)

(...Which she was, Tsuna could admit that to himself-)

(When he's alone.)

(And in a bunker somewhere.)

(Definitely not with Reborn in sight, no.)

(Kami, _no_.)

(The thought of Reborn's antics and penchant for chaos with Kei's trolling and Hibari's...cough cough low-key-but-it's-really-not sister complex was too fudging terrifying, Tsuna honest to Kami swear he almost peed his pants just as he was subconsciously thinking this.)

(Although he knew Reborn's pseudo-mind reading skill was just him being a _bastard_, Tsuna knew from experience that it was better to be safe than sorry.)

He couldn't help it.

It was too _strange_, too _baffling_, too _memorable_ that he couldn't un-remember even if he wanted to.

Yes.

It was un-remember.

Which Tsuna knew wasn't a word, shut up. He was having his moment here.


	2. ii

**2.**

Tsuna thought that he was pretty jaded after the Mukuro ordeal.

After all, he had a high-maintenance toddler that liked to strut around everywhere training him to be a mafia boss and brainwash his friends to be his "subordinates", _if you could call them that, those bastards they destroyed half of the manor again-_

Ahem.

But-

He was too young, too naive with his hairs not fully grown yet and didn't know the ways of the world at that time.

And like all of the great memories he had started-

It started with him making a fool of himself.

Hah.

...Yeah.


	3. iii

**3.**

It was a routine.

Get up. Get beat up by Reborn. Get beat up by Kyoya. Get beat up by Reborn/a-boss-manipulated-as-foil-for-his-training/Kyoya again. Sleep. Repeat.

There was a lull after Mukuro got his ass hauled into Vindice and little Tsuna, during that period, spent most of his time..._training_ when he wasn't cultivating his feelings with his future minions.

And then-

Hibari Kei happened.

It was a normal day too. Tsuna was comfortably going through the motions - automatically tripping on his feet in order to dodge a tonfa closer than what was necessarily safe for his mind and body _when-_

As he was about to get bitten to death by Namimori Middle School's fearsome prefect, all hail Hibari Kyoya, a blur suddenly flung itself on the older teen's back with a loud thump and saved his ass.

Tsuna, being the very good boy that he was, took a moment to pray for his savior's soul as he pragmatically inched away from the two in order to make a safe retreat. He avoided looking at the elephant in the...school's courtyard - casually moving centimeter by centimeter away from the danger zone, because unlike his fellow late-bivores, Tsuna would like to think that he had a healthy sense of preservation.

He'd rather not get caught in the eventual slaughter, thank you very much. Tsuna got enough shit from his beloved tutor every day so, excuse him, if he'd like to avoid the shitstorm that this one had the potential to be.

That was the plan at least until the sound of tinkling laughter in the silent courtyard reached his ears.

And-

"Kyoya-chan," A voice greeted cheerfully. "I missed you."

Tsuna's brain stopped.


	4. iv

**4.**

The world was ending.

That was what he first thought at that time.

Looking up in shock, Tsuna couldn't help but stop in his tracks and gape along with the crowd at the sight of a petite girl ruffling Hibari-san's hair fondly.

It was a masked loli.

A loli was pulling Hibari-san down - wrinkling his beloved uniform in the process - in order to reach up and pat his head.

What.

Tsuna's brain stopped - honest-to-goodness stopped working at "Kyoya-chan". He _couldn't-_

He couldn't _compute_.

Tsuna absentmindedly pinched himself.

Hard.

He winced.

Nope. He really wasn't dreaming.

Hibari-san, the stop-crowding-herbivores-I'll-bite-you-to-death demon prefect, the person who was said to break bones and draw blood when people ventured in his personal space, was well-

Letting that loli mess with his rep.

And his hair.

The fuck. Tsuna couldn't get over the Kyoya-chan.

Seriously?

What.

"How about you?" The loli asked as she continued to court death and proceeded to give Hibari-san a noogie. "Didn't you miss me?"

What a brave loli.

Tsuna couldn't help but admire the girl's spirit and courage. It was truly admirable, even as the picture they painted made everyone's face curled up like a raisin as the killing intent in the air went up a notch.

He thought it was the end for the valiant loli, but-

The air just turned colder and colder as the loli played on and on, and Hibari-san, for the lack of a better word, indulged the culprit.

Tsuna swore that he and all of the late-bivores that were privileged to see this event had their minds merged as one and collectively thought-

So this was Hibari-san's type, huh?

Of course, this thought didn't last long when once the loli got tired to stretching her hands, Hibari-san finally straightened his stance, fixed up his uniform and regained his dignity.

The demon stared at the loli aloofly - almost exasperatedly (?), but Tsuna didn't care about that when Hibari-san shook his world again with a sentence.

"I'm fine, aneki. Let go of me."

Tsuna squeaked, when that particular information started to sink in and his ears finally stopped ringing from the shock.

Aneki?

That loli-

She looked like a grade-schooler, _Kami-_

She was probably, give or take, only as tall as Fuuta!

Was Hibari-san high?

Tsuna flinched, withering as startlingly sharp gray eyes roved over his form intently before moving away.

The masked loli didn't seem so harmless anymore when he still felt his scalp prickle as she then, looked at the people who were starting to whisper among themselves - seemingly estranged.

(Tsuna remembered thinking during that moment that-)

(She was looking at all of them as if they were all dead - as if they weren't _real_.)

(It was only a moment. A split second at best, before her eyes regained its previous mischievous light and Tsuna forgot about it, but-)

(Although he ignored it at that time, his intuition was curling in on itself whispering dangerous, take care, there's something _wrong wrong wrong_-)

(Before it vanished as if it wasn't even there, to begin with.)

The courtyard was once again silent.

The mask loli smiled at the prefect playfully, her eyes crinkling into half-moons - arms falling away to her sides. "You're still a grump huh, ototou?"

The prefect just hummed in reply as he flicked his tonfa to the side and sneered at all of them haughtily. "Stop crowding, herbivores and get to your classes."

Tsuna didn't even hesitate. Immediately jumping at the chance of freedom, he tried to get into terms with the fact that apparently, the demon-prefect had an older sister.

An older sister that looked like a loli, was as tall as Fuuta and, damn it all, called Hibari-san "Kyoya-chan".

...His head hurt.


	5. v

**5.**

Tsuna tried to confide the utter terror he had felt during the event to Gokudera and Takeshi but-

They were both _assholes_.

Assholes, he tells you.

They couldn't even understand how mindboggling all of this was.

Come on, man! Work with him here!

Weren't they even the least bit interested?

"It wasn't like I'm not interested, juudaime," Gokudera stated, unusually calm. "It's just that I decided to take a step-back policy on the demon." The silver-haired teen nodded to himself righteously. "He's useful in a fight, but knowing anything more than that-" He shrugged. "Eh. It's better not to touch that."

Takeshi laughed, slinging his arm on Tsuna's back. "It's just his sister, Tsuna. It's a little surprising that he has one, but many people had sisters." He brushed back his hair, grinning. "What's wrong? Do you want one too?"

Tsuna frowned. "You guys, don't understand. She called him-" He lowered his voice, looking at the school corridor warily. "_Kyoya-chan_! Kyoya-chan, I tell you."

The two looked at him bemusedly - making Tsuna feel as if he was the weird one here for making a big deal out of nothing.

Takeshi coughed. "They're siblings, Tsuna. Of course, he'll cut her some slack."

Gokudera scowled at Takeshi before smiling ingratiatingly at Tsuna. "As much as I hate to agree with this baseball idiot, juudaime, it's probably better not to think much about it. They probably had a great rapport unlike," He grimaced. "Bianchi and I so a little harmless nickname wasn't that shocking if you think about it."

Tsuna wasn't satisfied but let it go, excusing himself to go to the lavatory.

...

..

.

He wasn't overreacting, damn it.

Remembering the head pat, the noogie and, the pampered, spoilt tone all done to the fearsome Hibari Kyoya-

If that wasn't reason enough for him to run around like a headless chicken, then what was?

_Why can't they understand?_

Was he really the wrong one here?

"Do you like her then, Dame-Tsuna?" A cute voice suddenly asked out of nowhere from the mirror behind him.

Tsuna flinched, forcefully controlling himself from shrieking and looked down in relief at his little Tsuna.

Thank Kami.

He almost got stuck in his zipper.

Again.

...Damn it, Reborn.


	6. vi

**6.**

Tsuna coughed awkwardly as he tried to regain his already tattered dignity from his suited tutor. "I'm a loyal man, Reborn."

Reborn executed once again his unnatural nimbleness as he jumped on Tsuna's hair - stepping on it for a good measure, in the process because he was a bastard like that. "You're going to be a mafia boss, Tsuna." The baby crooned softly - numbing Tsuna's ears. "What's with a few more women?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Reborn," Tsuna replied, feigning annoyance as his back prickled in cold sweat. "I'm reserved for Kyoko."

Reborn kicked his head in reprimand. "You're too naive, Dame-Tsuna." He smirked wickedly. "Imagine, a Kyoko on your right, a Haru on your left and a...Hibari Kei right behind you."

Hibari Kei?

Tsuna winced, hoping to Kami that please please _please_ let this not get to Hibari-san. For the love of Kami and all good in the world, _please._

He gulped - paling as hoped to hell that comfort room's walls didn't have ears. "Don't be ridiculous, Reborn."

"Ah," Reborn commented casually. "Dame-Tsuna, you're getting courageous."

His intuition was faintly ringing in warning at Reborn's statement, but little Tsuna at that time wasn't very good at heeding his power yet and well-

Tsuna couldn't stop himself from snapping back - surrendering from his fear that rose inexplicably during the last few seconds in the conversation. "Maybe you're the one who's interested in her Reborn, because you- you couldn't stop yapping about it." He stammered with false bravado. "It would _fit_ since at least your partner wouldn't rob your cradle like Bianchi's doing right now."

"I'm not interested in lolis," Reborn replied calmly.

Tsuna stiffened and let himself get beat up within an inch of his life.

That was one of the most painful memories - right up there near the top in Tsuna top ten list of worst beat-downs ever in the history of beat-downs.

Tsuna wondered after that time, why he was that damn impulsive and mouthy and even ten years later, he still wasn't quite sure about the cause.

...He eventually chalked it up to Hibari-san's sister complex surpassing space, time and dimension which automatically kicked up the range and potency of the demon's killing intent and thereby influencing his thoughts and actions toward Hibari Kei from hereon.

(He wasn't wrong.)

(Although Tsuna didn't know about it, a certain demon-prefect was actually patrolling near the area and overheard that bit about his sister. If not for Reborn's subsequent beatdown, Tsuna would have suffered a lot more.)

(He was almost lucky, in a sense.)

(Because at least, Reborn knew how to hold back.)

(If it was _Kyoya-_)

(Well, let's just say Tsuna got off easily despite the pain.)


	7. vii

**7.**

After the beatdown that he'd rather not discuss or dare think about, Tsuna learned his lesson and didn't dare touch Hibari Kei's topic again.

Kami knew that his life wasn't worth more than juicy gossip - even if it was gossip from the ever mysterious Hibari-san - and well-

Gokudera was right.

A step-back policy seemed to be for the best if Tsuna wanted to live long enough to marry Kyoko and have his limbs all intact while he was at it.

Besides, it wasn't like he saw Hibari-san's valiant loli aneki after that.

He almost forgot about her, actually.

Once the Varia came and the fight for the Vongola Rings began, Tsuna became busy once more as his training doubled. It was a struggle to trudge on these past few days as he had to juggle his school work and take care of his minions along with it.

Not to mention that his bastard of a father came home last week to con his mother again, so Tsuna was pretty occupied, all in all.

If not for Dino-san walking in his home with flushed cheeks and beaten-up one day, he would have thought the masked loli was an illusion made up by his fevered mind.

Which she wasn't, _apparently_, when Dino gushed on and on sorrowfully in front of him about-

"I got flirted by a grade-schooler Tsuna and I-" He stammered, curled up into a ball as he rocked back and forth. "I kind of liked it."

"Who?"

Dino buried his face on his knees in shame.

"Hibari's sister."

What.

Did Tsuna hear it, right?

"Hibari's sister?" Tsuna parrotted, after a moment of heavy silence. "Loli? As tall as Ranking Fuuta? With the mask?"

Dino nodded seriously.

"..Ahh." Tsuna patted his back in sympathy - now understanding why the usually dignified Cavallone boss looked like he got rolled on by a truck.

He didn't bother commenting more lest he got implicated along with the poor man beside him, but Tsuna lit up a candle in his heart for his self-proclaimed older brother instead, because he wasn't _that _heartless.

"You have to go back there tomorrow, right?"

"...Yeah." Dino's already red face flushed up even more as he curled in on itself. "I'm kind of excited." He whispered in a low voice.

...Idiot.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This story is unlocked by BloodPrnicess and the chapters uploaded are sponsored by Hallowtide. Thank you for the support. :)


	8. viii

**8.**

It took two days before Tsuna could witness the "flirting" that Dino was bemoaning about. He had hit a slump in his training lately, and according to Reborn, seeing his minions would do him good.

He had already visited Ryohei who, under Collonello's watch, seemed to be doing...nothing, so Tsuna had better hopes in getting an inspiration after seeing Hibari-san's training.

And well-

Accompanying Dino to the battlefield, Tsuna discovered that it really _was_ flirting.

It was about a month when Tsuna saw Hibari-san's loli aneki again and considering the fact that she had the guts to mess with her younger brother's hair and clothing, he did have the impression that she was a tad playful the first time he met her.

He had already prepared himself with to see an overreacting Dino and a few teasing from the girl here and there, but-

Tsuna seemed to have miscalculated how...playful she was.

Cough.

Wearing a grade-schooler uniform as she dangled her legs on top of the rooftop's elevated roof (he didn't know what it's called, okay, sue him), Hibari Kei made a strange picture as she, instead of cheering for her brother, flirtatiously cheered for Dino instead - unconsciously (or consciously - who knew what that loli was thinking) showing some skin and that little black pant-

Cough cough.

_-that_ shouldn't have looked as good as it did.

Seeing the whole thing his self-proclaimed older brother had to put up with, Tsuna couldn't blame Dino for being conflicted even if he knew the girl was older than she looked.

He wasn't even a lolicon and he was cough cough - _please don't let Hibari-san know Kami, Reborn have mercy_ \- kind of enjoying the show.

If Tsuna hadn't heard loud and clear how the prefect addressed the loli as his older sister, he would have been doubting himself (and the world) along with Dino.

Hibari Kei obviously did the whole performance with a sinister purpose in mind and Tsuna wasn't a fool. He immediately tried to avert his eyes from the spectacle she was putting on after that one brief look.

Two minutes into the fight, it could be seen that it only motivated Hibari-san to pressure the Cavallone boss harder as he improved in a supernaturally fast pace, however-

Dino didn't seem to mind, his face tomato red as he valiantly waved around his whip - trying to show off his best side in the process.

Tsuna hated iron for not being steel and could barely help himself from burying his face in his hands from second-hand embarrassment.

Dino-senpai, this kouhai sincerely thinks that praying for your poor soul wouldn't necessarily save you.

Dino was barely holding on even with his subordinate at the side to keep him in check and by the increasing killing intent that was Tsuna sworn was almost tangible on the demon prefect's side, Tsuna couldn't even bring himself to light a candle to the other boss.

This brand of _stupidity-_

Tsuna fervently hoped he wouldn't catch it in this lifetime.

* * *

**Author's Note:** An additional chapter today, because I wanted to answer a guest's question. So. There's a post in my ko-fi page entitled "Incentives?!En." to give bonuses to people who donate coffees in order to support my writing. One of its offers includes the release of the first three chapters of this fic with a coffee within a given set of time and BloodPrnicess - the awesome person that they were - took it upon themselves to give one. So, in a sense, they "unlocked" this fic. I originally plan to update this sporadically but another amazing reader - Hallowtide - sent a coffee requesting for another chapter and since each chapter was pretty short, I wrote up to chapter 7.

I wouldn't be focusing on this since I had like ten other fics to continue but if there were enough incentives to keep going, then I would bump it up the priority list. No need to buy coffee for each chapter. My face isn't that thick enough to ask for that amount with a fic consisting of chapters with low word-count.

That's basically it.

Sorry if my notes made anyone confused and thanks for reading. Remember, I write for the reviews too, so if one couldn't donate, an exceptional review could also get me going. :)

(Furthermore, this is gen and relatively tame. Kakashi's wearing safety shorts under that skirt and Tsuna's an unreliable narrator.)


	9. ix

**9.**

It wasn't known to everyone but whenever he's fighting in his dying will mode, Tsuna's mind turns kind of weird.

Not the kind of weird that came from him undressing from the sheer power of his inherited sky flames, while screaming his tutor's name on top of his lungs like a debauched pervert for years.

Nor is it the kind of weird that made him continue wearing unflattering, lame, and sometimes-riddled-with-holes boxer shorts as a teen even if he knew he'll be flashing lots of people whenever Reborn hits him with his gun.

No, it's the kind of weird where whenever he was hyper-aware of everything in his surroundings - with his senses kicking into high gear, he splits into two people.

Yes, he knew that sounds ominous as fuck, but honestly, it wasn't as bad as it sounds, promise.

Basically-

His consciousness splits into a calm, logical and not-stupid Tsuna who usually communicate with everyone and tries hard not to act _too_ try-hard and-

A sarcastic, little shit Tsuna who's responsible for eating popcorn, shitting on people privately, and making fun of everything that catches his attention.

(With everything, that includes _everyone_.)

(Even Reborn.)

(Sarcastic, little shit Tsuna is fearless in the face of that mind-reading monster because that version of Tsuna tried cursing the baby out already whenever his tutor appears in calm-got-his-shit-together!Tsuna's view during his first fight with Ryohei.)

(Imagine his and calm-got-his-shit-together!Tsuna's glee when both of them realized that no, the baby couldn't read them when they're like this and ain't that a huge plus enough to make up for all the shit this baby put him into?)

(They were fucking ecstatic when they realized that and well-)

(That was one of the reasons why Tsuna kept on wearing holey boxer shorts because he didn't even know it was an issue to begin with, grossly preoccupied as he was into shitting on his tutor during his dying will mode while acting hero for all of them up until Kei brought it up during a meeting yesterday because she was a petty little shit whose brother-complex rivals Hibari's own sister complex.)

(It wasn't his fault that Kyoya got his pretty face scratched up a little while Tsuna was letting off steam after his Cloud and Mist guardian wrecked a part of the mansion he spent hundreds of thousands to repair yesterday, those fuckers.)

Tsuna didn't know if Reborn knew about this side-effect or not and he wasn't eager to inform the baby before or even now, lest the baby would torture it out of him or _worse_, tutor him to weaponize the quirk with another round of hellish training.

Tsuna would rather try to underplay the whole shebang than go through that shit all over again.

(As he was concerned, with his followers and Varia's issues taken into consideration, having two personalities both aware at the same time during his dying will mode wasn't really that much of an issue in the first place.)

So-

When Tsuna finally came to Cloud fighting grounds after desperately training with Reborn for the Zero Point Breakthrough, the first thing that caught his attention wasn't the Gola Mosca flying while shooting missiles everywhere like a deranged fucker.

No.

The first thing that caught his attention was the calmly sitting white-haired loli - holding a flag as she bragged to Gokudera, Yamamoto, and Ryohei about how cute her otouto was.

What was she doing here?


	10. x

**10.**

Tsuna wondered if there was something inherently wrong with the sisters of his supposed guardians.

Take Kyoko for example.

Sasagawa Kyoko was a gem. Good-looking, charming, and overwhelmingly nice, Tsuna love that woman but even he couldn't deny that her sense of normalcy was a bit out of whack.

After all, she hugged Reborn as if the toddler wasn't constantly emitting a huge amount of killing intent to ward people off and the fact that she (and Haru) had been _able to do so-_

Even if she was a civilian, normal people have this natural danger sense that would tell them, no, doing this is bad or no, no why don't you just get fuck out of there and do something safer.

That wasn't even mentioning the fact that Kyoko was able to bathe with Colonello, _Kami-_

Colonello's aura of danger's rougher than Reborn. He might not be as strong as his monster tutor but he couldn't quite leash his strength that warned people the fuck off as well as Reborn could.

Even if she was naturally dense, wasn't the huge-ass gun that weighed a ton (Tsuna couldn't even lift that one properly) and the humungous probably-can-eat-a-man hawk masking as that baby's pet enough of a red flag?

Very well.

One could say Kyoko's actions could be excused.

One might say-

Just because you have that preternatural sense, you can act like you're all that Tsuna, huh?

It wasn't as if everyone was as sensitive as you are.

And what's wrong with showering with a genius baby? Le gasp Tsuna-kun, are you discriminating against mature prodigious toddlers?

But hear him out, okay?

When Kyoko proceeded to not see or negatively react with Colonello, the supposed mature little angel who could do no wrong, repeatedly beating her older brother up black and blue despite _knowing_ how strong Ryohei was-

That was beyond being insensitive to danger at that point.

His honorary older brother's strength training was insane. She should have known better than Tsuna since she was his sibling and the fact that Colonello could beat him to such a sorry state-

That was beyond being a genius, little pumpkin pie.

That was monster level wrapped in a cute package _beast_.

But then again, at least she was considerably more normal than Hibari Kei was, because at least when it came down to it-

When Ryohei was confined to the hospital after his fight with Xanxus's Sun Guardian, she was worried for her brother and thereby knew that Ryohei was roped into some pretty shady shit.

Kei was comparably worse.

She wasn't dense like Kyoko, no.

Kei knew enough not to touch the toddlers and cuddle with them like they were teddy bears but she was apparently dense enough to court death by trash-talking Xanxus as if his guns and muscles were only for show.

Why in the hell did Kyoya let his aneki witness his fight against the cloud guardian of Varia? With how frail his aneki looks, shouldn't Kyoya be sheltering her as best as he can?

Whose bright idea was it to let her witness all of this?

(His shitty sixth sense was telling him it's Reborn.)

(Tsuna blanched.)

(Don't tell him the baby was still thinking of Kei as one of his concubines because Kami if his tutor did- )

(Reborn was insane.)

(It's confirmed. Reborn really was trying to send Tsuna to an early grave.)

The scenes that came after went by like snapshots in Tsuna's head as he tried to bring down the rampaging Gola Mosca to heel.

...

..

.

"Ne, Kyoya," Kei drawled out lazily - almost coquettishly. "Beat the shit out of that punk wannabe's cyborg more," She wasn't shouting but her voice oddly carried all over the grounds. "Go go, Kyoya." She cheered blandly, waving the little flags in her hand with vigor.

Tsuna avoided a particularly tricky hit from the Mosca.

..

.

"That feather behind his head was too much," Kei shared with Hayato conspiratorially. "He's like my brother but punkier. And in such a bad way too, Kami." She shook her head in disapproval. "He couldn't pull it off as well as you do Gokudera-kun. That man should consider changing his stylist."

Hayato coughed, trying and failing to hide his laughter as his face reddened from the effort.

Based on the stifled sounds of the Varia guardians near Tsuna, Hayato wasn't the only one finding this hilarious.

Tsuna's stomach twisted itself into knots from sheer stress as he felt the killing intent in the air crank up a notch.

.

"I wonder if he took notes from the same blog Kyoya does," Kei hummed, dropping the bomb nonchalantly like the information wasn't in any way or form dangerous for everyone's well-being.

Hibari, who was avoiding the bombs the Mosca occasionally sent his way while taking care to note the Gatling guns around the arena, took the time to pause and shoot his sister a hard look.

Kei waved her hands in front of her. "Maa, it's nothing to be ashamed of Kyo-chan."

"Shut up aneki."

Kei ignored him, turning towards Takeshi instead because Hayato gave up and was already rolling on the floor, laughing his fat arse off. "Yamamoto-kun. What's the name of the feather guy again?"

"It's Xanxus, Kei-senpai."

"_Oh._"

"Eh?"

Idiot. Don't react like that Takeshi.

Kei pursed her lips. "Poor kid. No wonder he was trying to act cool." She stared at the valiantly-trying-to keep-his-calm Varia leader in exaggerated sympathy.

"Do you know English lah?" She continued, voice compassionate even when she was grinning like a loon. "It rhymes with-"

.

..

...

The world slowed down.

Tsuna was usually slow on the uptake, but little-shit!Tsuna caught on immediately.

Tsuna couldn't speak English all that well but he knew his anatomy well enough.

Xanxus.

_Anus._

Fuck, fuck _fuck_. Don't say it, _Kami_.

"No." Takeshi, bless that boy, hurriedly interrupted.

Thank Kami, what the fuck, that was dangerous.

"Tch," Kei clicked her tongue. "What a pity. You should take your studies more seriously Yamamoto-kun."

Or so she said, painfully calm, even as a bullet from Xanxus hit near them in warning.

Almost everyone turned to Xanxus blankly as silence pervaded the area.

Almost everyone that was, because Tsuna was still dealing with the rampaging Gola Mosca who unfortunately got side-lined because their resident loli had a death wish.

"My hand slipped," Xanxus finally said when the others continued to silently judge.

"Right," Kei was the one who immediately replied, nodding seriously. "Of course it did."

"It really did."

"I believe you."

Little-shit!Tsuna fervently hoped that she'll escape out of this alive.


End file.
